May 25th, 2015
Is a change in Self, a return to a more perfect Self? It is the feeling of Becoming something we were before, but now better, stronger, faster. While Xeper references a past event, we see ourselves as moving forward into the future to become something better. When we arrive at a new state of being, it is understood as a past event and may remind us of a past state. We perceive in this way because the past wholly exists, the present fleets through to join the past, and the future is undecided.
As we seek to go beyond the boundaries of our current selves, we continually expand and diffuse in the process. We need to solidify, crystallize ourselves in our newly expanded state. This solidifying creates the feeling of return, of becoming more essentially ourselves, which may remind us of a past feeling of self. If we’ve increased power in reach or dominion, than there is less of it in density. This is where it can be easy to get lost a in direction. Once a hold is grabbed again, it may resemble a past state. This means it is an essential component of oneself, a state that continues to Remanifest.
The development of humanity has enabled us to understand the concept of time, and the possibilities of the future. Set, also using the title of god of unending futurity, puts emphasis that there is something to our perception of the future. As with many things, perception of time is a balancing act. With the Norns, there is no fixed future, but a solid past, a current moment, and some likely scenarios we’re moving towards. We must accept the past as it exists and learn from it, indulge fully in the moment of the present, and have a vision of the future. Without that vision we’re moving towards, we are aimless, diffuse and standing still. The future may not be what is most likely to happen, or what will happen, but it is a realm of time that enables continued existence. We must be agile beings to survive time and space. Our thoughts in the present and memories of the past hold us to this current expression of ourselves in the present. But what will hold us firmly in our existences as we move into an unending futurity?
It is an upward spiraling journey towards the Akh, built upon the parts of the Egyptian Soul. One may wish to visualize these as paired off as we go up the chain. The first four parts, those that are within ourselves, Khat, Ren, Khabit and Ab, are matched to the other four, beyond ourselves, Ba, Ka, Sekhem, Akh. The Khat and Ba interact to move towards the Ren and Ka, the Khabit and Sekhem pairing and exchanging upwards towards the Ab and Akh connection.
As an initiate, one is no longer trapped inside the Khat. The khat is not totality of being. The masses of humanity think they are the khat. The first step we face in our break and separation, is to face this anomaly of a body and free our perception from it as being oneself. It is still the vehicle, it is still essential, it still determines a great amount of one’s well-being and health. It must be maintained and taken care of. It sits at the base of our beings as they currently exist. We cannot neglect it while we still seek to grow our beings beyond the borders of the body.
While the Khat is all the trappings of the body, the trappings of the mind can be swayed by Ba. These can be our own internal thoughts running rampage out of our control, and also the dwelling on external matters and the thoughts and opinions of others. When one is able to have moments of a clear and concentrated mind, the ba can be quieted. The Ba are noticeable when we experience negative emotions - anything frustrating about our day - any fetters or shortcomings that irk us just a little bit. The frustrations we feel, the frictions that makes us recognize the need to grow out of our current state and perceptions. Our dealings with our and others ba is how our mind, the seat of intellect and thought, can seek to grow beyond its boundaries. We must intake the information from others, and process it through our own. All the little birds of information flying around. All the thoughts dwell in our mind, but are not the make up of our self, our being, our personality. They are the blood cells, the muscles of the machine of the mind. They make it work, but are not the totality of being.
The Ren is that vision we hold of ourselves. It holds the ambiguous, subtle and perceived self that extends beyond our body and mind. This is what others see and interact with. This we can adjust according to our will and needs to achieve goals. While we can change body and mind, we are working against biology at times, and change is slow. The ren is quick and mutable. Paradigm shifts, words, deeds, all play into its creation and manipulation. Using the Ren for attainment of goals and needs external to the self can be effective. The ou is made up of a network of other beings. We do not create the most effective changes to ripple back and reward us by acting on objects, we create the manifestation of our desires through people. A name and an image is essential to be seen and understood.
The Ka, the vision of the possibilities of ourselves. Differing from the Ren, this image can travel beyond ourselves further. It does not hover, assigning meaning to the physical form. This is the traveler. We create this secondary image, this double of ourselves and ren to travel abroad and act where we can not act physically. Enact the changes and manifestations that we cannot through our own fingertips, on a more subtle level.
The Khabit, that deeper part within ourselves, shadowy and elusive. Where do our desires originate? Our fetters? Those Needs and Desires? The khabit can hold keys to all these things, but every time it’s using a key to unlock something, it may or may not use it to lock another thing. A bit of a trickster, it can become the many I’s that lead us in all directions. Attempting to gain some semblance of control is a goal, as this shadow is a fuel that drives the actions enacted through the ren and ka towards altering the khat and ba.
What fuels our shadowy origin points? The Sekhem is an internal power and fire to do just that. If the Khabit is a deep pit, the Sekhem is an elaborate labyrinth of torches to light it. It fuels the process up the chain. Something inside us surfaces, brought into the light, we can use the capability of our perceived selves to further alleviate ourselves from inhibitions brought by the physical form and brooding thoughts.
There is a core self inside in need of expression. The Ab holds this, and through all the above processes, seeks to act. Through the heart, ways can be found that truly grow itself. They would be true to this core self. It could get touchy feely to enact these processes, considering the heart.
If the Ab, the core self, truly reaches its purest forms of expression into and through the world, it has the potential of transforming into Akh. Our star, the self made more permanent because it is continuously acting, creating, and evolving. Not stopping for a stasis point, it’s fiery pursuits give it the will to continue.
Looking at the Egyptian soul, the Akh we seek to attain is the perfect pattern of our Becoming, like our DNA, the hailstone of our future star. As initiates, we are on a spiraling path of unfolding that Self. This perfect pattern Akh could be built of our biological DNA, the esoteric influences that make one feel moved by a hand of the universe, or a particle undergoing reactions by forces greater than ourselves. Our Wills, Desires, successes, missteps and Wyrd moments all play into the factors influencing our pattern.
We are not fated to become our star. By not acting, by not seeking to Become, we will not. The Akh questions whether we have a core self we are working to become, no matter how many twists and turns we take to get there. Is it fated that we only become ourselves, this one true self? In the unfolding of ourselves, there is not only one way to go as individuals, but is there one unique destination of Self awaiting each individual? If we choose things not aligned to the pattern of our highest self, things may go awry, making our Work a course correction back to our pattern.
As we work, we take in higher influences. If we imagines ourselves spiraling towards becoming our potentially most perfect self, that self that can become an immortal being in the stars. On a vertical plane, we could spiral higher, or spiral downward. If we're going down, it helps clean up some shit, but it’s not yet revealing parts of our perfect pattern and higher self. It’s only clearing the way for that to occur. If we’re cleared, ingesting the higher influences, and traveling upwards on the spiral towards our star, this pursuit of the Akh creates our higher body.
When we have a Wyrd moment, uncanny, illuminating insights on our desires, it provides a sign post to determine the path. We still must choose to act on this insight. We either move on the path, or stand still. When we choose to keep moving towards our unfolding ourselves, we find a path of most results has an alignment to a feeling of pulling from ingrained knowledge. We are becoming something we were before, because we always have been and are in the future. We can see markers of the experience with ‘backwards memories from the future,’ which could be equated with a sense of deja vu.
In order to begin traveling freely on our spiral path of Becoming, we have to slay a few monsters. A daily battle with stasis, the monster Apep keeps our true becoming through the eyes of Set at bay. Every evening we must send Apep away, back down under the depths of Nun, so we can enjoy our existence and Be. The state of being aware is a daily task, we must always strive to be in that state of existence. It may change subtly over time, but what is fundamentally true, is that this state will only begin to feel more real as we unfold more of our true selves, who we are essentially. We transform into something else over time, move further on our spiral, only through making more permanent the little changes, processes and victories we create every day.
This process brings out our daemon, one who is that perfect pattern manifest, our best selves already formed just needing the layers peeled away. In good moments she can direct our actions and send us messages. This leads us further down a path where the OU will begin to mirror the SU. Our desires manifest with more ease. Our sovereignty creates a bubble of influence where our magickal reach is free flowing to affect and create our will. But this daemon can only reveal itself when Apep is not present.
Our unique daemon may be formed as a star in the sky of Nuit, a part of the same source material as Set. We as forms of matter seek a permanence beyond the flesh, and must first attain the stage of becoming a star, a light bringer, before we are able to move beyond that existence. Our journey towards becoming our akh requires us to unfold, revealing more of our starlight. We’re not heading towards the light, but becoming our own beacon and power source. Perhaps after this we are able to cut ourselves free and fall, to become truly separate and independent of the cosmos.
Imagine oneself journeying down this spiralling road of Becoming. The process, engine, which enables us to move forward is Xeper. The movement itself, making a self be another self in a new space and time, Remanifest. Our path has signposts and unexpected turns, Wyrd, while we’re traveling towards our various unknown destinations, Runa. The vehicle and engine is fueled by the Substantial, but our vehicle itself is built with our capacity for Creation. We are held together by what grounds us to ourselves and to the world around us. We build ourselves and our environments to suit us. Our vehicle had some groundwork already, and we pimped it out along the way. The Akh would be that created vehicle that started as a humble automobile, and ended up as an interstellar spaceship to take us to our unknown destination.
What is an act of creation? What stimulates our senses and inspires us? What are the tools for expressing our creative selves? The act of thinking of potential answers is a creative act - the ideas in one's mind are being created. The act of thinking produces many resulting manifestations in our lives. Thought can cause, process, invent, forget, and create all the pleasures and pains we experience.
We can create many things through life, but they do not all have the same effect on our Becoming. Some things we create build that bright vision of the temporal future we’re creating for ourselves, and some things delve into the hidden parts of the dark eternal self. Others do not send waves into the deeper parts of ourselves at all, thus they do not reflect back a change.
The creations that do reverberate within and beyond ourselves could be what we need to manifest to continue our journey. They are closer to our true desires and more closely connected to our own life energy. We must align many parts of ourselves to enact this flow of energy, our intentions, desires, actions, expressions. We need to know where our desire comes from, what part of our being, to know what need it fulfills and the role it plays in the creation of our self.
Creating from within ourselves, and extending and exchanging these manifestations beyond oneself, gives more potential energy to oneself and their work. This potential energy will have opportunity to cycle back to its creator. Thus, giving the creator a renewed exchange with the creation from beyond oneself, back to within. We exchange this energy, not solely with each other, but with a purpose to create something beyond ourselves. This doesn’t exchange the substance with another in our immediate vicinity, but with the unknown beyond ourselves. We have those moments when a creation returns to us, bringing back that memory, energy, and substance, refilling us.
When we open up energy to expression, put it into our creation, our awareness expands. We now understand what needs to be done to manifest our desires. This inspires us and gives an all consuming will to create. When we have the flows of energy going strong, our creative life blooms. The inspiration flows out of our essence giving a lust of life that is unstoppable. It requires courage to act, to pursue our becoming and creating through all potential events. When our energy is expressed freely, fueled by our desire, we are hell bent on creating what leads us towards Runa. We experience suffering when we are impeded and desires aren’t met. But we continue to lust for our desires, suffering through the spiraling path. If we stop moving, a part of our self will wither and sleep. But even while in pursuit, we must be present and aware of the process, the journey. We become short-sighted and more likely to misstep when only focused on the end goal.
One way of creating more energy, is through dynamic tension. The interaction of opposites, neutralized by a third force. We need opposition for a balance to exist, and we need it to see beyond the duality to gain more understanding. The new energy awakens insight and gives a sense of wholeness. When we create energy through this tension, it clears a space by eliminating a part of the forces in opposition, a part of the self is sacrificed, allowing a new self to grow. A goal of initiation is to neutralize the duality inherent in humanity. The best way to seek out neutralizing this duality can be achievable with enough of this essential substance. How can I tell which ‘side of my brain,’ which “I”, something is originating from? When there is a sense of the substance in the moment, I’m able to see above and between the two and it provides a guiding post to a truth to myself. I recognize this sense in physical moments, the ‘shivers’ that can be experience during Setian workings. While it may be similar to that rare feeling one may have gotten in the past of ‘someone just walked over my grave’ - in this context it has been given purpose and meaning. It is an energy that is present, and flowing.
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, thus, when anything is created, something must’ve been destroyed. As one gains a greater capacity to create, it will also give equal power to destroy. One’s creation can only reach so much of its potential before it stops growing. Either it ends, or is made to remanifest. One can choose to destroy their own creations to cause a rebirth. This is ideal, because if one can make a controlled burn, the destruction and left over space could become exactly the raw material one needs for their next creation.