Memory Forms and the Process of Becoming

March 8th, 2016

How do you use memory as a tool in your process of becoming? Can your memory enhance your experience of your cycles of creation? While seeking answers for these questions, I had an inspiration of a dynamic image last new year's eve. It was a gestalt image in motion that gave me the challenge to describe it through each of these diagrams. In the process of understanding this image, I found a synthesis of ideas within memory, concepts of space-time, the Egyptian soul, and the process of creation.

The Khat

This part embodies our need to create boundaries of the self. Thinking of the Khat as an energy field surrounding the future corpse of matter that is the body, it is a substance and energy that is part of the natural world. It can be influenced and affected by subtler energies of the other parts. The physical body lives intimately with the classical elements; water, air, fire, earth. The density of this energy field can be seen as the amount of self-awareness and evolved consciousness one demonstrates. When the energy field condenses more towards a core, we have more gravity field and magnetism. When one is less condensed, their diffused particles blend and interact more with external non-self particles. This isn't always as ethereal as it sounds, the influences of the world affect how we care or do not care for our bodies, changing its strength. Condensing separates the self from the surrounding miasma and creates a distinct form. We can gain more mass and density through the successions of Remanifestations within your soul's lifetime. Both in the moments of Xeper we experience now, and in the transformations of the physical body.

The Khat interacts with the three dimensional world [Fig. 1].

Our bodies are always part of this three dimensional world. This space is the contiguous form of matter and energy that includes other beings and non-beings. Depending on one's view, the degree to which people acquire individuation varies greatly. This is where we have opportunity to create boundaries. If we picture the fabric of the universe, and our place within it, when we are unaware we blend more with the surroundings. We need to be cut from this fabric to form our own self. A symbolic tool for this process is the peshkent knife. There are many layers to this fabric, but the more we're able to cut away, the more we're able to see a separate and distinct view of oneself and the surroundings. [Fig. 2]

This separation is an act of creation. There is now something that is not uniform with 'That Which Is'. There is now a fault in the fabric, an imperfect and unique thing. How do you perceive this uniqueness and separateness in yourself? Do you see it, can you hear it? Cutting and recognizing a rift in space-time breaks out of What Could Have Been and engages more directly with the Unknown. [Fig. 3]

If we imagine this body as the thread that is our current moment of focus traveling through time, we move around, view, create‚ and build order by creating the flow of self. The Khat is the physical body manifestation, the vehicle for the journey. There is a structure, and a richness of the entire world within, bigger on the inside, like the tunnel Alice falls down. Once inside the rabbit hole, all the knickknacks of thoughts and memories are stored within. If you choose, this vehicle could travel to any place in space or time. The "I" is the fire inside the Khat, the spark of life, the "I"'s vehicle for life, enjoyment and suffering. With this consciousness and vehicle, we make the unknown known by one's presence and observation within it.

In the left area of Figure 3, the circle and squiggles represent Neheh, the Unmanifest, the chaos of subatomic unpredictability, and the future of the unknown until it becomes observed in the center at the focal point of consciousness. The circle is the singularity origin point for the chaos, emitting the particles of potentials. We can magnetically draw certain potentials to our conscious awareness to become manifest. It requires magical effort to bring the potentials of What Could Be to arise from haphazard matter and become what we'll weave into the tapestry of the Known.

The center imagery is the focus of the self that is conscious in the present moment. If this diagram could move, the circle would be spinning around this focal point in space. Time circles on itself, infinite in its finite nature by reconnecting back into itself, ever flowing. It exists both outside time and is time itself, it always exists right now. The central point inside is where the thread of self transforms all the chaos of the What Could Be into the structures of the tapestry of What Has Happened on the right. This time does not pass as a linear progression of events, but as a collection of bits of occurrences to create one's world and life. This moment is a horizon point where the unknown becomes known. We transform the chaotic coils of unknown matter into the formed known. This action is shown in the center plane as an energy field with the creation and transformation point in the center.

On the right of the diagram, the spiral represents the Known, the past, what Is and what has been formed, been established, the Djed. It is not an organized spiral, but an irreverently woven tapestry. It has chaotic areas of happenstance, and well-done areas with purposeful organization sometimes created according to one's vision. Here the weaving has taken place, the cord of the self's focus has woven a tapestry of its memories and experiences.

This view of time shows the present moment returning on itself like an ouroboros, but there could be parallel manifestations of the current moment. More layers of alternate time and subjective universes if we continue to change our perspectives.

The Ren

Considering the world outside of our center focus, we must make use of the Ren to interact with it. This part of the self is flowing and intangible. It can give vitality if used optimally, or misery if used poorly. This name-self partakes of the symbolism of water, in nourishing and potentially overwhelming and destructive aspects. It is the meaning embedded within the rivers of messages. The identities we assign to our self and our worlds. It is the matter of feelings that flow between people, the identities of words that can be exchanged. We can perform acts of naming and speaking with the only full complete image-maker we contain without the aid of external tools, our mouths. We create Heka, magical utterances, the unique words that are the catalysts to create magic. These words can express the idea, form, intent, but it is the act of being spoken aloud and expressed that makes it effective.

Our Heka is a powerful tool for creation. The Ren uses this energy mechanism to upkeep life and send forth expressions as an ongoing cycle. We reaffirm our existence with expansion; we evolve in this process. If we do this with knowledge of objective and subjective cycles, we can act to have better returns, fulfilling ourselves and continuing our lives in our own manner. Heka works to bring forth creations, but they may not have effect if falling on deaf ears. We need to also tune ourselves, resonate with the proper frequencies in the universe. Perhaps a tool previously used to adjust our relationship with space can be used again, the fork of Set's tail, now as a tuning fork. [Fig. 4]

Let's conduct a thought experiment for theoretical and illustrative purposes of this idea. Imagine the universe is made up of sound as matter. At a substance level, along with string theory and quantum mechanics, we could look at the energy of each particle having, or being, a distinct sound. Each piece that is a 'something' is made up of the wavelengths we equate with a sound. The recent observation of an astronomical event by the use of sound measurements shows sounds as a crucial element in the affirmation of existence as much as light, or lack of it. If the matrix our Heka acts upon is made of sound, we must influence it with sound.

As sound and light feel like an affirmation of existence, we surround ourselves with music and lights to feel alive, the bustle of a big city, explosions in movies, those that continuously chatter. Silence is an absence, a disconnect from the sound-matter that could make up the universe. It can be frightening for a self to experience this silence, the confrontation with the self in the absence of the busyness. If silence is the unnatural state of sound, the practice of silence within oneself and surroundings emphasizes the sense of distinction and unnaturalness of our state of being. It brings a sense of knowing this separation by not participating with the noise around you. The expanse between the awareness of your own consciousness and the sound-matter around you widens. Here is where we can attune ourselves with the aid of the tuning fork.

Our experience and perception of light and sound could be two sides of the same coin. The visual light that comes into our eyes could be made of sounds waves we can't hear. We interact, influence and experience the world through taking and creating sound-light in varying forms. In observable forms, we know that sound has a slower speed than light. We see something before we hear it –thunder and lightning. If we're using this paradigm of a universe of sound in a working, how could one take advantage of this relationship between light and sound? Practical methods for interacting with a universe of this nature would alter it with sound and light. We light the flame and we speak our intent. We change position in the octaves of our beings, the radiance of how strongly our fire burns. We can adjust our resonances of both factors, converging or separating with different matter, people, ideas. All can change with a newly acquired perception in the state we create.

The Ba

When I see myself as the Ba bird, I think of the exploration of Runa. This bird is a multifaceted creature, a synonym of a star, a doorway, a teacher. The Ba is all of these, to see and understand this, look for the connection between all these things – the string that flows through all the ideas – the flight path of the Ba, our thoughts. The Ba are created using the scepter of Djam, different from the Was scepter, dominion. We create and send forth ourselves and ideas.

This representation of the bird has a protrusion on its chest and throat, a midway between the Ren and the Ab. It could pull inspiration from both these areas to enact itself as a creative principle of Runa, this 'gland' sensing and seeking after mystery. Otherwise, why be a bird so agile and able to explore? The bird imagery brings a sense of freedom and restlessness in always seeking something.

For me, a fundamental experience of the Ba is the role of memories in daily life. Working through one's intelligent thoughts is a task in itself, but how much attention are we paying to honing our memories? The skill of memory is a wealth we possess, a most valuable sense, experience, or talent we can enact. Without it, we would lose all sense, meaning and quality of life as we continue to exist. In my own initiation, the most valuable and informative experiences of memory are overlays and underlays onto my current experiences. This perception of memory layers within perception cause further self-awareness of one's journey. Being aware of, and Remembering, the past self could lead to recognition of Xeper and knowledge of effective Remanifestation.

When we are able to observe layers of memories existing, we can perceive with focus and attention if there are rotations of experiences that appear in cycles. Either self-created patterns discovered through observation, or patterns resulting from the external cycles of the natural world. This can be used as a tool by perceiving an act as the moment of the self moving at will through space-time. Create a purposeful alignment with this knowledge and move according to desire. Sifting through arising memories, I can choose to align my current moment with one of the past. Perform an action that Remanifests an element of self that has been lost in time. The current moment aligns with this congruence to the memory that inspired the action, thus it could appear through the layers of memories as a slow transition from point A in the past to point B in the future.

In addition to the long chains of layers receding back through our past selves, there can be very strong and vivid memories that stand out as a single experience. When I have these gestalt feelings of memory, the smells and sounds of an experience begin to take place behind my current experience, the view through, and reflection on, the windowpane at night. These can play behind a current experience, in real time. As I experience my day, the memories of a trip may flow behind my vision like a reflection and view through my experience. When this occurs, I wonder if there is something to be seen in correlation with the present moment. The playing of the past affects how I behave and perceive the present. The influence of the former self may enable her to Remanifest herself into the present.

Scent is a powerful tool to practice with memory. Specific memory triggers, like the melting of the snow in spring, can release layers of memories below the current moment. I can see the self that has experienced this scent of the air in all her forms through time. The scent remains, I change, and I see the strength and continuation of my process of change. When recalling a memory inspired by a scent, notice, where does the memory and sensory experience occur in your mind-body complex? When you smell that rich espresso and recall a coffee house of five years ago, where in your perception does this occur? Does this experience overlay an atmospheric quality on the moment in the OU you are presently experiencing? For me, these overlays of my subjective memory experience onto the objective world perception create a way to live that is much deeper, richer and filled with wonders I have created. It informs my process and movement through the world, to actively know where I've been, whether I know where I'm going or not.

Recall the thoughts of an 'aha!' moment, the euphoric rush, remember what surrounding sensory inputs were influencing at that time. If we re-stimulate those memory triggers, could it bring a new insight? If we align a current moment that feels like the return of a cycle, we cannot replay it, but we can make a new layer, the next rung in the pattern becomes connected to what is already built. These environmental triggers may not need to be experienced with your physical senses. Perhaps you can call the sensory experience back vividly enough through your thoughts to make it achievable as an inner experience.

Our experiences do not need to just happen and blow away with the next wind. We can work to remember the experiences that build the subjective experience of self we desire. Can you forget the things you want to forget? Should you? When haunted by memories, assigned as good or bad, they can be forged into the current life mythos. The scope of what we could remember is great. Past experiences, if aligned with intention, can bring meaning to the current moment. We need to remember to enjoy the little pleasures, to Indulge and be present in the current moment. Now is the time to live, focus one's attention on the current experience, all the fruits and beauty of it. Only by being fully present in the moment, can you remember it. The layers of memory can begin to coalesce, bringing depth to awareness of the present. Activate your senses; remember how good it is to be alive. Only then can you remember how good it was.

All these experiences question the space of memories, and encourage using the subjective experience of time and memory as a tool. We experience external events through our subjective interface, thus making the reality of experiences occur within this timeless, spatially ambiguous zone. Awareness of this can lead to a greater understanding of one's subjective time. These memories are a recorded aspect of how we experience our life in 3-dimensional space. Knowing our momentary existence in a particular cube, we can begin to a glimpse the 4-dimensional aspect of our experience. We can see our self stretching through space-time itself in succession. The layers of memories could be made visible in the cycles of time. [Fig. 5]

With this vision, it could become possible to see a way to operate congruent with the thread of your eternal self that stretches through these experiences. When we begin seeing a movement through this 4th dimensional time, it could open up to the possibility of additional subjective time experiences. [Fig. 6]

Each loop of space-time is viewed as a subjective universe. Our current moment of focus and experience is the location of the thread or the Ba's flight, moving through our subjective experience. [Fig. 7]

This capacity for thought and seeking is the instigation of the self's movement in Figure 3. We begin traveling through the space-time loops of the subjective universes in pursuit of the ever-moving unknown mystery as we continue creating new Forms. The more able we become at controlling our Ba, the more agile we become at navigating our subjective universes. We are on a chaotic spiraling journey following and seeking. Our desires and the Wyrd flow of the coiling spiral of rope are the string of our consciousness through space-time.

The subjective universes can intersect in many chaotic ways. Each significant decision point we make that is impactful enough to adjust a paradigm could create a crossroads, a new loop of subjective time and experience. We move within and through each loop, distinct from the events themselves. The nature and events of the subjective time loop are the line of the circle through which we travel. The potentials the self creates as it spirals through its subjective universes create a plurality of potentials, and expansion of existence. We are a multiplicity of selves, creating in each point of time along the paths.

Flying through our SUs, we observe when a pattern or cycle of time comes full circle. When we hit this point of return to the original crossroads of creation, it could become a moment of Xeper. We realize the perception of the subjective journey we've just completed. From here, we could Remanifest the subjective universe. Either creating a new link at the same origin point on the space-time loop, a known crossroads, or we travel a bit further on and forge a new crossroads, sending the overall patterns in a new direction.

The Ka

We can create a new loop of subjective time in a working of Greater Black Magic. In this act, we create a Ka, the double, Xeroxing our self. We make a copy, of a copy, of a copy. Xerox is a specific word because it invokes the nature of that copying technology‚ a bright flash and a carbon copy created. The Xerox is the subjective surface area space within an objective space-time loop that joins the field of others in the 5th dimension. The Ka is not the space-time loop itself, but the entire experience within the space of the circle where we travel. This subjective area contains all the sound, silence, light and darkness that makes the replicant self contained within a space-time experience. We continue creating these selves throughout our life. We keep Xeroxing to continue life‚ each new Ka created, and the Self continues to live.

When I have a vision of a future self, per inspiration, sometimes emphasized is an image of 'strong pale forearms' as if a light is shining on my arms very starkly. To me, this is a tell, the cigarette burn on my reel play of existence to identify a moment of coming full circle on a time loop. The process of coming into being has been established, I have the moment of recognition and it continues on. In my direct experience, the moment hits me and my arms are visible in that similar way physically. A strange coincidence with the glyph perhaps.

Each moment we Xerox creates the split of the crossroads of another space-time in the 5th dimension. There is an event that breaks open all the potential possibilities that could manifest, but we may only connect to one at a time. This creates multiple possibilities that manifest in loops in the void, now floating errantly, unconnected to our jumble of current SUs. Could we ever bump into one of these alternate possibilities, or draw it towards ourselves? These free range SUs could be the mysteries we seek. When we have crucial realizations, we can look back through the past and see how the signs have always been there. This moment of clarity is a connection to an SU that may have been created as an additional possibility in the past. We've now come full circle in a bigger way, not just within a subjective pattern, but into an alternate version of an SU that had been waiting in the void. We've found another layer of mystery out of the unknown.

The Sekhem

The Sekhem is the inner furnace of the self burning with the Black Flame. This powers the self to continue on the journey through space-time, and we must keep it lit. We are the warm little center our own universe crowds around. We are the burning fire, the unnatural light and warmth of our own creation.

We contain this inner furnace through the strangeness of human existence. Some begin with a starter fuel, a piece of the first matter of oneself. This can be taken and directed with purpose. Our words and deeds are the additional fuel we continue to pile on the furnace. If we learn to use this furnace as a tool, we could have additional powers of creation. One could forge the scepter to wield and direct with more refinement.

The Ab

The Ab is the grail of the self, the keeper of our essential substances. Like our heart pumps our blood, this is the jar of our essence, holding the fuel to power the Sekhem. It rules the flowing aspect of the other parts, whether out or in.

In the universe made of sound, Ab is the receiver of sound-matter, perceiving the resonance of the tuning fork. This is a way of perceiving a likeness in essence of others, through the Ab as the receiver.

While the Sekhem is an engine of our movement, the Ab is where our Will and Desire of how to move arises. This influences how we twist and turn through the space-time loops. We realign our position of Self within each Xerox, and stretch our string closer to where we want to be. Performing these alignments, as you're aware of the layers of self that came before, informs a more effective journey.

The Khabit

Into what void can we create? What surrounds the 5th dimensional subjective universes?

The Khabit is the shade of the self. The glyphs are a fan that creates darkness from the light shown on it, and the foot grounds this form of the self and connects it to the world of measure. A surface needs to exist for a shadow to fall upon, and for a foot to touch with a sense of grounding.

This darkness could be like the dark matter that is the absence of the sound-matter that makes up the fabric of the universe. Cut oneself from the fabric of the universe, like a star out of the sky. This night sky without the star of our individual consciousness is a primordial darkness, a rich space filled with potential, because it is all that could ever be. The field of potentials, anything that could be created is contained there in. This space gives us the ability to create, we make ourselves, building that density of light that gives form to the potentials, the self that becomes. We pull our new subjective universes towards us. Everything that was, is, or ever will be you, is contained within the darkness, you need to draw it to you and light it up.

This is the make-up of the surrounding environment of the 5th dimension. This darkness, the 6th dimension, is that all-encompassing void of darkness. To pass through, it may require a tool to access the 7th dimension. The adze, with a relation to time, is shaped like the constellation of the thigh. While one is already cut from that fabric of the starry sky, now one can seek what is behind the stars and perform another separation.


In the Diabolicon, it speaks of Satan needing to lose physical form to now only be perceived within the hearts and minds of men. Did this create a universe within a universe? One of a purely subjectively perceived matrix of darkness, in which one can express one's consciousness. We can perceive the presence through our psyche, and know that there can be more contained within this matrix of reality. The space behind the stars is not out there, it is within our consciousness. This is the hell with a prince et al. It is self ruling, making a world within a world in which to live. The subjective universe is a touch point for the world of Forms, potentially perceived with a greater effort. This is a subjective space, the Duat:


The Akh

This aspect of the self is written as another bird, along with our substance, and our record of ideas. The bird has its protuberance from the top back of its head, a 'gland' operating from a higher mind. Again, the bird suggests symbols of freedom, expansion, and nest building. While the bird may pull from the first matter, and go out according to its inspiration, it must retain what was gathered. The scroll is a symbol of the way man is able to receive abstract thought from himself. We must let out the ideas before they can be perceived in a new light, and this return of the ideas back into the mind allows them to be understood. Sometimes we create by inspiration, and not by intent, and only understand after it has been recorded.

Let's take a closer look at Figure 7. Here, within the subjective space-time loop, we can see the crystallization of the self within the subjective universe. This self has been there before, traveling a well-established subjective universe. The carbon copy of the Ka has crystallized within its space, now the star within the surface space of the loop. The Akh is the crystallization of the Ba's memories within the subjective space-times of the Kas. This shining crystalized self could act as a prism directing our inner fire and transforming our acts of creations beyond these dimensions. [Fig. 8]

There is a multiplicity in perception when one has created more universes. The creation of each individual space-time cannot exist in 'time' that our self traveling through them could perceive. But a self devoid of time, could perceive such a view. This evolution of one's successive universes transcends outside the bounds as we know, but into a place of this Self beyond the self's perception. [Fig. 9]

Beyond our power of the Sekhem, beyond our will of the Ab, what determines how we crystalize our self within specific SUs? How can we consciously determine what to strengthen if we're still flying amongst it? This could be a 7th dimensional Self, the one behind the stars that can grasp a full view of all the subjective universes. This Self can create alignments of the subjective universes for our self to travel through, appearing as our layers of memory and thought experiences.

If we look at ourselves as potential stars in the night sky, were we one before, having cut ourselves out to have this current experience, and will we be again? If we did start as a wholly perfect seed of our self, the absolute, awe-full, shining self, we may have been a core of radiance that now dissipates and weakens as it expands, like a personal Big Bang. This radiant self does not need to be imagined as made of visible white light, there is a large spectrum of alternative light not visible to our human eyes. With the title Light Bringer, such exemplary guidance could lead towards further self-becoming. We must be the light bringers of our own souls.

After the personal Big Bang, we are journeying towards our death and dissipating. Our greatest density of consciousness would've been at one's original singularity moment of being absolute and then begun dissipation. The Gift of Set makes us aware of our individual consciousness. To slow our journey towards death of consciousness by dissolving, we would need to continuously create our own boundaries and maintain our own shape and light-matter so we do not dissolve into the miasma of collective consciousness. We have to gather enough energy and matter to form a star, have our own gravity and light-sound emissions. Is this possible if we continue velocity towards dissipating, or do we need to travel backwards towards the seed moment of the self, the originating singularity?

If our Self is attempting to travel backwards within its own time outside time, it could affect our experience of memory. This informs the feeling of learning as remembering, and the weird little 'glitches' we experience as Déjà vu. To me, such an occurrence brings a sense of being in the right moment that I should be experiencing. This could imply there is an effective way that one's life unfolds. Not that we're fated to achieve it, failure is much more likely, but that there are many routes that can be taken to get there. Deja vu can be one of the signposts that you've made a good turn. We get our hits of proper unfoldment through that experience, the sense we've been there before, because in a strange sense, it is part of our implicit pattern.

This crystallized Akh, the Self that can see, could be the container of memories. It is what we have taken from the double, our experience, and our self, which we preserve in the non-temporal disembodied thing that is our memory.

After all this, how is it relevant and pragmatically approachable for some one all the way over here? [Fig. 10]


The Forms described here are represented by the hieroglyph of forms and images. We make these mummies as a preserved form of oneself. Not the record of ideas, nor the active Ka, nor the crystallized Akh containing memories. These could be the balls of shit we've just gloriously rolled up with our little beetle legs. It is something that solidifies and interacts outside the self, a creation.

Through my explorations of work as play, I pursue an understanding of this process of becoming. At the core, as I live, all new experiences and things I learn come into a matrix of perception of my self and surroundings. Each of the pieces here fit into a greater picture of how this process of creation can be enacted on a variety of scales. It shows a way for creating of all things, including the utmost of all, the creation of our subjective universes according to our own will. Through the process of creating things and ideas, we could learn more about how we can create more of one's self. What is this process that is unique for each unique individual, and how does one find their own process of becoming within themselves? Some may create art, music, writing, etc., all parts of the expression and creation of a microcosm of self. How do we take these and expand our boundaries, within, beyond, above, below?

There are patterns and processes ingrained in how the self-complex flows and forms your life. Each creation is a Form that records the self. Each process of creation could be seen as an allegory for the creations of the Self. We can take the understanding gained on a small scale and apply it to our great work. The parts described in this essay could be viewed as a process of creation, to be used on oneself, an environment, or a specific task.

  • Khat – Solidifying body – separation
    We separate and solidify, obtaining a separate view so that we're able to perceive.

  • Ren – Naming things – identifying
    From the separate viewpoint, we can identify and name our ideas.

  • Ba – Finding ideas – creation
    We travel our world of ideas, bringing things into our light, creating them.

  • Ka – Duplication of ideas – sending
    We send forth these ideas.

  • Sekhem – Fueling with realizations – return
    Our ideas return to us, fueling the process further.

  • Ab – Synthesizing into resonance – synthesis
    We synthesize the returned ideas.

  • Sekhem – Observation in void – understanding
    We see further potentials beyond the known.

  • Akh – Crystallization of experience – preservation
    We focus, shining a light into a new unknown space.

  • Forms – Creation of record – recreation
    We establish our forms as records.

  • More on this later…meanwhile, how do you experience the ideas of the Egyptian Soul? How does your own unique creative principle continue your own process of becoming?

    Xepera Xeper Xeperu,
    Adept Kaeti

    Copyright © 1987-2018